RED HOT BLU PICKS

TELEVISION

Bachelor Bob chooses sultry Estella over girl-next-door Mary Jo on the exciting 2-hour finale of The Bachelor. The lovebirds last longer than Evan and Zora, but shorter than Trista and Ryan. Okay, we'll give a number. Three and a half years. Coinciding with full Estella meltdown.

CELEBRITY

Learn to love Paris Hilton, she ain't going anywhere. Pamela Anderson staying power? You bet. She is this generation's Zsa Zsa. We predict she soon hooks up with an A-list celebrity. This keeps her where her face belongs -- right above front page headlines about Black Hawk Downs crashing in Tikrit. We smell perfect rebound material for a dumped Affleck. Blow on the dice, Paris baby.

FILM

The Last Samurai bombs as Tom Cruise activates the Costner Career Slide button, with each of his movies getting sucessively longer and more bloated, his characters devoid of any of the affable charm that made them bearable over a decade ago.