And The Oscar Goes To... Esther?

Our favorite Jewish Mystic In Training is performing six not-as-sold-out-as-you-would-think shows at Madison Square Garden starting tonight. Come on, dude. Take some to time to celebrate the Material Mom's arrival by going to the Loews Theater on 34th Street and watching her run circles around her costars. That's right, Joe Mantegna, we're talking to you.

The lineup: Who's That Girl, tonight; Body of Evidence next Wednesday, and Swept Away, on June 29.

No Shanghai Surprise? WTF?