Girls Suck, So Do Boys

Frustrated by the singles life in New York, music blogger Casa De Punk, has decided who he should be dating from now on — lesbians. Mr. Punk writes:

Brett is the best girlfriend I've ever had. We never have sex, we don't even kiss. I'm a guy after all; I'm about as interesting to her as a lamppost until she's had 10 or 15 cocktails.

Mr. Punk, take solace in knowing this: you’re nervous breakdown bordering bitterness had earned you membership into a privileged club – you’re officially a New Yorker.

Until you’ve known spirit-ripping pain and suffering, until you’ve hit the cynical low that Casa de Punk has (see the female version here), you’ll never understand this city and this city will never understand you.

We earned the right to call ourselves a true New Yorker back in 1998, after a particular harsh rejection from a hot Brooklyn bartender who told us “she wasn’t coming home with us” and that “she was more into black guys.”

Of course, this bitterness is eventually replaced by something else. If you stay here long enough you will see.

Then you will look back at the days when you swore you were utterly effing done with dating and you will thank God that this sadness is gone, but you will always keep a place in your heart for that sadness.

Looking back, that sadness will feel strangely beautiful, and unique to you, and to this city, and after that, you will forever love single people in Manhattan, those who hilariously curse the opposite sex, jadedly write about romance, freak out, give up hope, fall head over heels, and seriously question the existence of God.

The Lower East Side was built on godforsaken taxi rides home.