Alec Baldwin saw me walking to work today in a ridiculously-effeminate turquoise winter hat, which I had to borrow from the Blubox Intern this morning, because I lost my hat at the movies last night. Snausuges.

I want to see The Life Aquatic. The problem is I know what my reaction will be when I leave the theater, despite having not seen it. Snausuges.

The U2 album is better than some people will give it credit for being and there's nothing I can do about it. Snausuges.

I will probably never have a three way with Micha Barton. Convincing my girlfriend would be impossible. And selling it on her, of course, would be the most difficult part. Snausuges.

I don't have the time or effort to explain why Elton John deserves the praise due a rock legend. But if the Stones did (Gotta Get A) Meal Ticket... oh, forget it. Snausuges.

For all Christina Aguilera's slutty outfits, she'll probably never show us the Full Monty. If and when she does, you know it will be too late. Snausuges.

I have this one nose hair named Norman that keeps wanting to come out and say hi. After you turn 30, unwanted hair is the new acne. Snausuges.